5 Years of Us!
You'll be able to find all our 5-year celebrations up here. There's going to be some great stuff.
Five years of Games of the Year...
Five years of the forums...
Five years of KNTV...
Five years caught in our documentry...
Five years of Doctor Who...
We all hate this sort of thing: Nintendo happen to have chosen this weekend to realise Super Mario Galaxy 2, which, unless Zelda Wii is truly spectacular, is their biggest realise of the year. FIFA also happen to have selected this weekend to start The 2010 Football World Cup kicks off, the biggest sporting event of the year. (A word of apology to our American readers: Galaxy 2 already out, and you guys don't call it Football. We might as well have written this article in Greek. You won't even get any sympathy at the event, BECAUSE WE'RE GONNA THRASH YOU!!! KN- Unbiased to the end.)
So, that's the dilemma and gloating out of the way. KN, being your very best friends, have only gone and made you a definitive list of how to get the best of both 'World's. There was a way of making that very funny, but we missed it.
1- Pull a sickie.
Here's the best option, but slightly hard to pull of as this article has been left to the last minute. Ideally, you should be wanting to start coughing loudly so everyone you work with can hear you on about Tuesday. Do it more and more until on Thursday you start groaning as well. Friday, just ring up in a croaky voice and enjoy your time off.
Buy Galaxy 2 first thing in the morning: Midnight if possible. Play Galaxy 2 for the 17 hours of Friday leading up to the World Cup's kick-off, at which point you probably need a break because, to coin an official KN phrase, You’re Eyes Shall Be Bleeding Marmite(tm). So you can go at 3.30 and see Alan Shearer have a bit of a chat and watch 22 blokes hit a spherical object around using their feet for 90.
If, like the majority of us, you’re not an ill-acting expert, then you’ll have to attend work/school that day. Another easy method is that of multitasking. Stereotypically, only women can do it, but we’re willing to bet that it shouldn’t be too hard to keep an eye on the score or listen to radio commentary of the first game while jumping and diving around the cosmos...
3. Forget Galaxy!
Put it off until Sunday, when everything’s began to die down. Forget the game exists, and probably avoid the KN forum, because there’s a chance they’ll get flooded. On Sunday, you can have a good, uninterrupted run-through. However, this poses the question of why? Why would you want to forget the most wonderful game in the world existed? Oh, and more to the point, how?
4. Forget the World Cup!
After all, we all only care about England’s games, right?
5. Ask politely.
Now, remember your manners when asking for a day off work. Or promise to ‘work from home’, and then (Whoops!) forget all about it. Or rush it. Doesn’t work quite as well with school, but then you really should be focused 100% on your education, kids.
Once you do get your day off, we recommend following what we said in Day #1.
If you are disappointed with this article hoping to see us wondering who would win in a fight between Wayne Rooney and Mario or Fernando Torres and Yoshi, then send your complaints to [email protected] and we’ll publish them as part of our weekly World Cup Report next week.