Oh boy. You didn’t know your entire family where going to be here for Christmas Day. The complete lack of presents means that you’re going to have to hurry and buy them all, quickly. But wait! There’s not the time to visit more than one shop! Looks like GAME it is, armed only with the following suggestions...
Mum- Wii Sports Resort
Just because she’s your mum doesn’t mean that she deserves a piece of rubbishy shovel ware or a copy of Wii Fit, (Suggesting she needs to work on her figure. Last thing she wants to know on Christmas Day) so Sports Resort it is, then. She can wind down and stop worrying about the icy conditions with some quick 1:1 motion Frisbee throws, practise Basketball to aid her attempts to be ‘Down With Da Kids’ and brush up on her sword fighting skills for the next time you find yourself fired/expelled.
Dad- The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Deep, absorbing and set at bursting point with clever and fun ideas and ingenious puzzle design. But, best of all, it’s portable, which means he’ll actually eb able to play it and get into it. And it’s doesn’t stop there. As two added bonuses, you’re constantly accompanied by a pretty girl, (Princess Zelda herself) AND if he’s ever been into trains, the locomotive theme will defiantly be appealing.
Sister- Band Hero
Nintendogs and Animal Crossing are soooo 2006. The Imagine games are horrible. Princess Peach is too pink and girly for those feminist types, and yet you can’t buy her Call of Duty because it’s cruel. Band Hero walks the fine line between, well, everything. It’s a bit steep, but if you just buy the disc then gasp and say “I forgot!” when she realises she can’t actually play it, and then it’s all sorted. Ish. If she’s into a different genre of music, then buy her a Guitar Hero game, or even DJ Hero, even though that’s even more expensive. The Beatles: Rock band is hard to beat.
Brother- Modern Warfare 2
The easiest choice in the world. Almost everyone his age wants it: Plenty of explosions, terrorists and gun, plus a multi-player mode that s amongst the best in recent years, with fantastic online support. Simple.
Uncle Phil- Sam & Max
Uncle Phil loves nothing more than a good laugh, except maybe his dog. So surely the combination of the two is totally irresistible? The wisecracking canine and the skull-cracking bunnies’ two series are both amongst the funniest games we’ve ever played.
Auntie Julie- The Sims 3
The simple but deep town planning, construction and management will keep her amused for hours. Make sure she unwraps it between the dinner and Doctor Who, so she doesn’t stuff her new town with shops instead of stuffing the Turkey, and will play it through tenant, meaning there’s no “So what’s just happened?” (“He’s died.” “Oh, that’s a shame. I liked him.” “...He was only just introduced two minutes ago while you were on the loo.” “I liked him when he was on Holby.”)
Grandparents- Eyetoy Play 2
Wii Sports and the console are too expensive, so try and get them up off their behinds in a different way, albeit an older way. Eyetoy Play 2 was amongst our favourite games on the PS2 in it’s heyday, and your grandparents are defiantly going to give it one shot, declare it “A Good Thing”, then have a little nap and never come back to it.
Uncle Dave- Punch Out!!
Uncle Dave has just come out of prison after he stapled a shop assistant’s head to the revolving chair in Partners after they said perhaps he’d like the purple notepad instead. (It was, after all, exactly the same.) This is his first Christmas back, and so you’ve gone for Punch Out!! as a clever tactical choice. Brightly coloured characters can allow him unwind, and see it as plaything, but the repeated BANGBANGBANG punching will relieve stress in a better, more peaceful way than the old STABSTABSTAB. That, and Punch Out!! is a fantastic game that everyone really should play.
Auntie Maurine- Action Girlz Racing
AGR is possibly the single-worst game on the Wii. However, this auntie has been sending you the same single pair of pants for all of your life, every Christmas and birthday, and always goes out of her way to embarrass herself in public. Uncle Dave was glad when the authorities locked him away from her. The plan is that hopefully the Data Design ‘classic’ will finish her off.